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Denied Access from Grandchildren
May 07 2009, 9:41 pm - By C
I was notified of the date of my Appeal Hearing today and I am feeling fear already having to go through all that again being made to feel like a worthless human being, a nothing, that Grandparents are a waste of time and shouldn't take up court time, that they are vexatious and vindictive and that it is in the best interests of the children that they should not see their grandmother (their only living grandmother).
1. I feel for you. No one should have
to be treated that way, good luck and hugs by S
2. In Thought and Spirit there are many who stand strong beside you... Lots of Positive & Caring energy by F
May 07 2009, 10:07 pm - Replied by: J
I
am so sorry you feel like this C. It just
isn't right you have every right and what is more grandchildren have every right
to know grandparents. Don't let them
wear you out. Be strong and know you are
right! Sometimes it’s hard to maintain a sunny disposition. Whenever that
happens I smile a bit harder even if it makes my face hurt.
May 07 2009, 10:41 pm - Replied by: W
Don't let them make you feel
worthless. It is untrue and demoralising.
There are many grandparents in your position. None of them are worthless.
You are that child's only grandparent and you deserve to have a relationship.
Please keep fighting for your rights.
May 07 2009, 11:59 pm - Replied by: B
C, stay strong. You're in the right. Just look them squarely in the eye with all the power you have. Remember all of the ladies in here who support you. That should give you added strength.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
I'm
sending you heaps of hugs and strength!
B
May 08 2009, 10:16 am - Replied by: E
C stay strong my prayers are with you how do
grandchildren know their history without Grandparents our love is different to
a parents so hang in there, E
May 08 2009, 12:26 pm - Replied by: J1
C, when is the hearing set
for? I'm sorry that you have to go through
such a terrible time and hopefully one day all our grandchildren may come to
realize that we are people, just people, and will come looking for us.
May 08 2009, 3:16 pm - Replied by: M
Oh
C, My heart is breaking for you. I understand only too well what you are
feeling and experiencing. Like J, I would like to know the date of your appeal.
If at all possible, I would try to be there for you. However, I have many
medical/dental procedures in May and early June. However, if it's after that I
would make every effort to come and support you. You can't let the bullies intimidate
you. I know you are a very strong and intelligent woman and as everyone else has
said, your grandchildren have the right to know you. Please don't give up and
buckle under the pressure. I hope you stay well and are able to fight the
fight. Lots of love and prayers, M
May 08 2009, 4:29 pm - Replied by: P
C its very hard knowing what to say in these circumstances, we feel your pain and we can only reach out and give you cyber support and send lots of hugs. We will be here if you need to talk you know that.
Hugs L
May 08 2009, 5:31 pm - Replied by: C
Thank you everyone for all your
wishes and support. It all helps. Regards, C
May 08 2009, 7:44 pm - Replied by: S
I
am so sorry to hear of your traumatic time. Along with the other cyber
grandparents my love and support are with you. As I've said before to others
let your love shine through everything they throw at you. I feel sorry for the grandchildren. They are
being deprived of an important part of their roots, culture and heritage. Try
to be strong and may your god go with you
May 09 2009, 7:35 am - Replied by: B1
Dear C, Take care and I wish for you all the strength that you need at this time to fight for what you believe is right and just. Do take the time for some self care as the legal system can be a daunting and hostile environment. Hold your head up high, my thoughts are with you
May 09 2009, 9:23 am - Replied by: C
Thank you everyone for your support. I am feeling stronger already.
May 31 2009, 10:59 am - Replied by: C1
Hello C, my name is C1 and I live in the P
area. I have been through the Federal Magistrates Court and I can completely
understand how you feel. It is a daunting process and unless one has been
there, it is difficult to understand the humiliation one feels. I just can't
believe that the mother is believed on every occasion. It's just not right. I
am a paternal grandmother, which makes it even more difficult. My best regards
and wishes for your success. C1
Aug 08 2009, 11:18 am - Replied by: C
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. All I can say is that there is no justice in our Country, telling the truth will get you in trouble, destroy you financially, emotionally, physically and morally. Lying will get you financial and emotional support from the Government, get you what you want regardless of the destruction, morally, emotionally, and physically this may cause to others along the way. Lying is acceptable and believed. Judges stick together, cover up for one another. I experienced this last year when a Judge lost control of his courtroom, the other side threatened to take my house off me if I continued, I was not heard, case was closed, and I lost thousands as well as my sense of well being and faith in the judicial system. This has again been reinforced. My case again was not heard I was shut down, and I am left with the bill. I was told "get on with it" "we haven't got all day" "this is costing you money" "yes we have heard all that" "stop wasting our time". My world at the moment is black, and all I want is to be left alone, and go back to bed. I need to shut this horrific experience out. One thing for sure I will never encourage a grandparent to apply for parenting orders as stated in the law, because it is misleading to have it written in law, and then have that law disregarded. I am a victim of social exclusion, I was unable to get assistance from anyone no matter how hard I tried, the energy I put into it. I had no access to justice. I was severely disadvantaged. This is with the AG's department, but I expect the same, so away. I'm not taking phone calls I cannot talk about this at the moment. My world is very very black. But thank you everyone for your support and words.
C
Aug 08 2009, 11:37 am - Replied by: W
Your
complete posting should be sent as a letter to the editor of a major newspaper.
It brought tears to my eyes to hear the despair that you are feeling. Surely SOMEONE can get you the help that you
need. It gives one a feeling of absolute helplessness. I am so sorry - but that
doesn't do anything. You are in my prayers, hugs and loving thoughts, from F
Aug 08 2009, 11:43 am - Replied by: C
Thank you so much, my world is so black. I feel paralysed.
Aug 08 2009, 12:57 pm - Replied by: M
OH
C, I DO UNDERSTAND. I HONESTLY DO. F IS RIGHT. THIS NEEDS TO COME OUT. BUT WE
BOTH KNOW THAT THEY ALL CLOSE RANKS - WHETHER IT'S THE GOVERNMENT, THE
JUDICIARY OR CHURCHES. IT IS NOT UNTIL THERE IS A DISASTER OF SOME SORT, OR A
CRIME, THAT THEY SIT UP AND TAKE NOTICE. I AM SHATTERED FOR YOU AND FOR ALL
CHILDREN AND THEIR GRANDPARENTS WHO ARE DENIED CONTACT BY CUNNING AND DECEITFUL
PARENTS. MOST PARENTS WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN, BUT SOME ONLY THINK OF
THEMSELVES.
Aug 08 2009, 2:45 pm - Replied by: B
C,
I'm so very sorry.
Please only give yourself about three days in 'the black place' then reach out for someone to talk to either in person or via the computer.I know it will be hard but I was advised to do this by a Psychologist when I was really 'down'. She said by the third day, that's when you have to be strong and 'talk' to someone. Get some help. The danger of harming yourself is high after then.I've done this and I must admit, it has saved me from doing something I would have totally regretted.
I'm sending love and healing light to you.Please know that you have support in here with others who know what you're going through. They're the best people for you to reach out to.
B.
Aug 08 2009, 3:31 pm - Replied by: R
Oh
C my heart breaks for you. I can only imagine what you are feeling. Look for
help should you need it, don't try to struggle thru on your own. You have my
numbers if or when you want to call free to do so. Take care; my thoughts are
with you, R.
Aug 08 2009, 3:36 pm - Replied by: J
C, I'm devastated for you. Big hugs to you. They won a battle, don't let them win the war. Sometimes its hard to maintain a sunny disposition. Whenever that happens I smile a bit harder even if it makes my face hurt.
Aug 08 2009, 5:16 pm - Replied by: J1
C, you also have my numbers if you want to call. B’s three day suggestion sounds like one a lot of us could take on board. I know I could. Put your pj's on, cry, scream, kick the walls but most of all be very, very kind to yourself. And call if you need to.
Aug 08 2009, 7:36 pm - Replied by: R
But sadly they can some times be blinded by whats on offer from the other side. Can recall a time when G and his ex-thing went to court and afterwards they took their solicitor and OURS to lunch. We stood with our mouth hanging open as they walked down the street with their solicitor on one side of them and ours on the other side. No one will convince me money didn't change hands and they had the dollars to pay it. Pity they all hadn't choked on their lunch!!
Aug 08 2009, 7:46 pm - Replied by: J
Oh
R that must have been hard to take - not to mention corrupt! Life can be so unfair! Sometimes its hard to
maintain a sunny disposition. Whenever that
happens I smile a bit harder even if it makes my face hurt.
Aug 08 2009, 7:52 pm - Replied by: M
SADLY, F, THIS WAS NOT THE CASE FOR C. SHE IS TOO TRAUMATISED TO TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED BUT IT WAS HER APPEAL AND SO IT LOOKS AS THOUGH IT'S ALL OVER - AND IT SEEMS SHE WILL NOT SEE HER GRANDCHILDREN. IT SEEMS TWO JUDGES RULED AGAINST HER. I'M SURE IF SHE HAD ANY GOOD NEWS AT ALL SHE WOULD HAVE SHARED IT WITH US. OF COURSE, LIKE ME, C HAS NEVER SEEN HER GRANDCHILDREN, NOT EVEN A PHOTO AND SHE HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY ABUSED BY THE JUDICIARY AND COURT SYSTEM. SHE HAS LOST HER DAUGHTER AND HER GRANDCHILDREN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE WILL EVER COME TO TERMS WITH THIS CRUELTY. ALL WE CAN DO FOR HER IS TO GIVE HER UNCONDITIONAL CARE, UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORT. I FEEL SO HELPLESS.
Aug 08 2009, 7:53 pm - Replied by: E
C
I am really sorry you have had to go through this and my prayers are with you
Hugs E.
Aug 09 2009, 12:50 am - Replied by: P
Why do we call this the justice system? C we are here for you Hugs L.
Aug 09 2009, 1:56 pm - Replied by: N
I am gob smacked, i can not believe you have been treated in this manner. This happened to a close friend of mine, she was told in court that she had grandparent rights and has her g/children on a regular basis. My heart goes out to you. Big hugs. E.
Aug 09 2009, 2:34 pm - Replied by: C
Thank you everyone for your thoughts.
When you are excluded from the same rights as others, this is alarming. I was excluded from any legal advice, representation of any kind throughout my entire Hearing. I had no Solicitor, Barrister look after my rights. I had no access to justice, which I believe it is my right just like everyone else's in this Country of ours. But I was excluded. I am a Grandparent and viewed as a worthless human being, a waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of resources. Rather all resources were put into the other side to fob me the Grandparent off and defame and injure me in the process. What hope has one got? I could not even locate a Barrister willing to represent Grandparents. What an appalling state of affairs.I have no faith in the judicial system. It is a disgrace. I am looking at challenging the High Court, as it is written in law, that Grandparents can apply to the court for parenting orders regardless of the parents having separated or not, regardless of conflict. Judges are accountable for their decisions based on lies, errors of law.
C
Aug 09 2009, 2:58 pm - Replied by: M
C,
MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. BUT PLEASE GET SOME SOLID, OBJECTIVE ADVICE BEFORE
GOING DOWN THE PATH OF THE HIGH COURT. I KNOW YOU DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS, AND
YOU MUST DO WHAT YOU MUST DO, BUT PLEASE AT LEAST GET SOME INDEPENDENT ADVICE.
WHAT ABOUT TALKING TO SOMEONE AT ONE OF THE FATHER'S ORGANISATIONS, LIKE LONE
FATHERS? I THINK BARRY WILLIAMS IS THE PRESIDENT AND HE IS VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE.
AND I THINK HE IS BASED IN CANBERRA. THEY ARE OFTEN LOOKING FOR GRANDPARENTS TO
SPEAK AT THEIR CONVENTIONS, MEETINGS ETC. I BELIEVE YOU NEED THE SUPPORT OF
OTHER NETWORKS LIKE THE FATHERS' GROUPS. I CONTINUE TO CARE ABOUT YOU AND WILL
RESPECT WHATEVER DECISION YOU MAKE AND CONTINUE TO SUPPORT YOU. BUT PLEASE TAKE
TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. M
Aug 09 2009, 6:02 pm - Replied by: C
M, G said that that what is happening to Grandparents is what happened to Dad's years ago, therefore, we must speak out no matter what it takes. The courts are mother orientated, based on research which is not valid and must be discarded.
C
Aug 09 2009, 7:38 pm - Replied by: J
C, I can see the pain you are in. People are children for only a few years before they become independent human beings. Then they make up their own minds who they want to meet. I pray that the children can keep you in their minds in a positive way until they are free of the restrictions that someone else has placed on them. Life can be so unfair. Sometimes it’s hard to maintain a sunny disposition. Whenever that happens I smile a bit harder even if it makes my face hurt.
