My Story I am a grandmother denied contact with my grandchildren by their own mother, my daughter through no fault of my own, but through the vindictiveness, delusions and pathological lies of my daughter, and the abusive application of the law. I am my grandchildren's only living biological maternal grandmother and I live close by 10 minutes away, yet I have never seen them not even a photo! My grandchildren call a stranger to our family grandma. When they learn that the person they have been calling grandma is not their real grandmother, but a mother of one of my daughter's ex boyfriends they will be shattered by the deception and deprivation which will impact on them for many years to come. My daughter was a happy healthy child until she changed during her adolescence when she became manipulative, abusive, aggressive, violent, antisocial, and a pathological liar. She was unbearable to live with and was constantly moved from home to home because of her violence and abuse of others. I applied to the courts for "Parenting Orders" to enable my grandchildren to know me and have a relationship with me Section 60 2b Family Law Act 1975 and I was ill-treated by all parties including the Family Report writer, the ICL, the magistrate and appeal judge. I was the only one who stood up in the court room for the rights of my grandchildren, no one else did, and I had cost orders made against me! They said I was vexatious that I should have known better than to ask to see my grandchildren despite the Family Law Act 1975 Section 60 2b endorsing the rights of the child to know and communicate with their grandparents. This was cruel and a breach of the law. My grandchildren's rights were ignored and abused, the "paramountcy principle" Family Law Act 1975 so my grandchildren and I were granted no contact orders. To deprive the children of a relationship with their only surviving grandmother and maternal extended family cannot be said to be in the children's best interests nor is it the intentions of the makers of the Family Law Act 1975. Grandparents & grandchildren denied contact is a widespread phenomenon over the land mass of Australia as thousands of parents actively engage in denying their own children contact with their parents, the children's grandparents. This is abuse of the elderly and the very young known and recognised as “Child Abuse and Parental Abuse”. Studies indicate these children denied contact do not do as well; children need more than just their nuclear family (Professor Margaret Sims). My traumatising and bewildering experience through the court system led to my questioning and investigation into the legal system. It wasn't very long before I learned that the Family Court of Australia is operating unconstitutionally. The Family Court is a private corporation operating as a commercial court in the business of profiteering and that there are no valid magistrates or judges in Australia today. Carol 1.01.2010 modified on 2.06.12 Sydney Australia |
Vanessa's Story
The situation of wanting to spend time with my grandchildren has hurt me, plus taken up lots of time in my mind, for years. It has also caused me to feel unworthy, sometimes.
It's funny how some kids choose to be your parent, your boss, when they grow up. I have felt like I am being punished since my son became 18 yrs old and he is in his thirties now. He then meets a cold hearted female who chooses to show no interest in us at all. She doesn't even see we are family.
Anyway, I am at a place I can accept they don't want us in their lives, but to make us feel unworthy of being with our grandchildren, is so cruel.
I have seen my 4 yr old grandchild but never alone, about 15 times and my 1 yr old about 3 times, for just a few minutes, through begging. Those moments were always with the mother in law. I tried doing it all their way, but when I saw unsupervised moments weren't ever going to happen, I stopped. I did ask and was told I will never see them alone.
These grandchildren are the only ones I have in Australia. I have 2 grand children living overseas. I have been to see them now 4 times, plus my relationship with my daughter is fantastic. I also see them on Skype every few months, which causes me to miss them, also.
Emotionally.......I have been a wreck, due to waiting and hoping for things to change one day here.
I so wish I knew how many grandparents have gone to court and won out of those that did. They might have laws that encourage grandparents, but do any of them get visitation?
What has upset me at present is knowing a solicitor my daughter in law saw, told her what reasons a Judge would say no to me, which she is now using and will use in court, in my opinion.
If the parents of the children get stressed, or the grandchildren are likely to experience conflict in their home, through their parents being angry and upset over visitation rights, etc.......the Judge will not grant access, I am told. I can understand it's wrong for children to experience negative energy, but what hope do I have if this is the case?
I am happy to go to court, but I am not happy losing hard earned money on something that might achieve nothing. Maybe they say grandparents are welcome in a court room, so we pay money to the solicitor, the psychologist, the counsellor, the court room, the mediator, etc. Grandparents often have money.........so, let’s use them up and if they lose, who cares? Who will see it's all about money, when they lose? On the surface it seems like society cares, the justice system has a heart............but, I am very cautious when something in my life wants money, personally.
All I want is a fair go from my justice system and I am so not in the mood to see corruption there. Maybe we need to accept our children are the grandchildren’s parent and that they are the boss now.
I am happy for the world to know how this all feels.
What has happened to some grandparents, has allowed me to see how it could be in court room............ I recently asked a few solicitors whether it's possible to book a court day when a compassionate Judge who favours grandparents is working. They said you watch too much TV and the answer was NO.
Vanessa 8/06/2010 Victoria Australia
Copyright by grandparents4kids 2013
